How to Find Work That Feels Right—Not Just Looks Right—As a Mum

For many mums, the search for meaningful work isn’t just about ticking boxes on a job description. It’s about something quieter, deeper—like returning to a version of ourselves we’ve put on pause for years.

We’re not just trying to “get back to work.”

We’re trying to reclaim something—identity, rhythm, clarity—within a life that often asks us to split ourselves into too many pieces.

We want work that doesn’t just fit into our lives.

We want work that feels like home in our bodies. Work that honors our values, our energy, and the version of success that doesn’t require self-abandonment.

This isn’t a how-to guide in the traditional sense. It’s a gentle invitation to pause, to reflect, and to reconnect with your inner compass.

Let’s Begin with the Truth: Passion Isn’t Always Clear

“Follow your passion” is popular advice. But for many mothers—especially after years of caregiving, career breaks, or emotional survival mode—passion feels foggy, if not entirely lost.

When you’ve spent years focused on the needs of others, it’s normal to feel disconnected from your own.

Instead of searching for a lightning-bolt moment of clarity, begin by noticing:

• What kinds of conversations energize you?

• When do you feel most present in your body?

• Which topics light up your curiosity, even subtly?
  

Let the clues be soft. Let them come slowly. Your clarity isn’t gone—it’s just buried under layers of shoulds, guilt, and overstimulation. Give it time. The Psychology of “Fit”: Beyond Job Descriptions

You might find a job that looks good on paper—aligned with your interests, matching your skills, even offering remote flexibility. But if the work environment is dismissive, overwhelming, or emotionally unsafe, your nervous system will pick up on it long before your mind can justify it.

Our nervous systems are wired for connection and safety. When those needs are unmet—through micromanagement, lack of autonomy, or misaligned values—we enter survival mode. And that’s not a place from which to thrive, at work or at home.

Ask yourself:

• Does this environment allow me to be human?

  
  

• Would I feel safe to make mistakes here?

  
  

• Is this role asking me to perform a version of myself I’ve outgrown?
  

This is not just about career satisfaction.

This is about psychological sustainability.

Six Core Elements of a Nervous-System-Safe Career

Here are six foundational elements I invite my clients to reflect on—especially when returning to or reshaping their careers post-motherhood:

1. Autonomy

Do you have agency over your work? Can you make decisions without being micromanaged? Autonomy allows us to feel competent and trusted—crucial ingredients for confidence and well-being.

2. Emotional Pace

Is your workflow built on constant urgency, or is there room to breathe? For mothers who are constantly overstimulated, a job that adds more chaos than calm is unsustainable.

3. Recognition

Are you valued not just for your outcomes but for your process, your presence, and your insight? True recognition is about being seen, not just rewarded.

4. Relational Culture

Is there space for emotional honesty, kindness, and growth? A psychologically mature work culture supports not just performance, but people.

5. Fairness & Boundaries

Are boundaries respected? Are policies equitable and consistent? Mums often navigate invisible labor and unspoken expectations. A fair workplace doesn’t rely on overfunctioners to hold everything together.

6. Value Alignment

Do your values show up in the company’s day-to-day choices—not just their mission statement? When our work aligns with our ethics, we feel integrated. When it doesn’t, we slowly burn out from the inside.

Redefining the Job Search as Nervous System Listening

If you’ve been trying to figure out your next step, consider this:

What if your nervous system is already telling you where to go?

Before scrolling job boards, try this reflection:

• In what past roles did I feel most settled?

  
  

• What kinds of environments gave me room to exhale?

  
  

• What drained me—not just logistically, but emotionally?

  
  

Often, your body knows before your mind catches up. Tune in to what feels expansive vs. what feels contractive. When a job excites you on paper but leaves your chest tight—pause. Something matters there.

This isn’t about avoiding hard work.

It’s about not trading your health for a paycheck.

The Deeper Work: Rebuilding Inner Trust

So many mothers lose sight of their inner compass after years of navigating others’ needs. We start to doubt our instincts, normalize burnout, and question whether wanting meaningful work is too much.

But it’s not too much.

It’s just that most systems were never designed with us in mind.

The deeper work is about rebuilding self-trust—the kind that lets you say no, ask better questions, and choose not just what you can do, but what actually supports your full self.

This kind of alignment isn’t quick. It’s often unglamorous. But it lasts. Final Thought

As mums—and as whole, multidimensional women—we deserve careers that don’t split us in half.

You don’t need to prove yourself.

You don’t need to be grateful for scraps.

And you absolutely don’t need to abandon yourself to feel employable.

The real success is a life where you feel well, not just “employed.”

So take your time. Ask softer questions.

Trust the answers that arrive quietly.

And remember: the right path doesn’t always look like ambition.

Sometimes it looks like alignment.